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The story was simple: I asked the staff at For the Retarded for their picks in an e-mail, urging expediency since I was trying to compile this stuff ASAP. Within what seemed like a millisecond, Bobby turned his picks around and had them to me. Enjoy day six of Tardie Week!
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So…here’s a look at the origins of the movie Transformers and some of my thoughts on them.
Optimus Prime – In my opinion the best adaptation from toy/comic/cartoon to movie out of all of the Transformers represented. Optimus has all of the classic elements while still being modern. Getting Peter Cullen to do the voice was a great plus.
Bumblebee – A lot of fans have issues with Bumblebee being a Camaro instead of a VW Bug, which I can understand…if you are gay.
Jazz – Only issue here is …
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Grindouse is a schlock, B-movie double-feature by this generations “renegade” directors (Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino for those not in the know). The films feature fake trailers by famous horror-movie directors, purposefully scratchy film quality, 70’s-era special effects, and typical Taranntino dialogue. Are they “good” movies? Not really, but it is fucking awesome…
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If you’ve ever read any of my reviews you know that they are usually brief and to the point…just like this one is going to be. Vampires fighting werewolves is just plain cool regardless of the movie that it takes place in so the Underworld franchise gets points for that without trying…
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I tend to get really pissed off when comic book movies stray from theirsource materials. I was hurt when I learned Spider-Man’s webs actually came from his wrists instead of web launchers that he made. But in the end this was forgivable because the good outweighed the bad…
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Now even though the column this is from in Premiere Magazine has a satirical approach to film criticism, truer words have never been written by any film critic. BATMAN AND ROBIN is one of the worst movies ever made in the history of Hollywood…
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I’m gonna sine your pitty on the runny kine. Ima sine, cappa my jammy… wadda-tah. Sa da tay.
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Ghastly haikus by Bobby Jones
Bobby may pretend to take the high road by only contributing three whole haikus to our site, but it still doesn’t change the fact that he did it. In fact, the idea that he only submitted three leads me to believe that he actually thinks these are good or something.
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I’m really kind of upset about this movie. Being a lifelong Daredevil fan, I really hoped that they wouldn’t screw this one up. I’ll say this first: even if you have never read a Daredevil in your life, this still isn’t a very good movie…
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Add an aging Al Pacino who is again playing himself (I hate admitting this, cause Al rocks, but…) and a young, hip Colin Farrell and you’ve got The Recruit, the newest generic spy-thriller from Roger Donaldson, director of other generic films such as Dante’s Peak, Species, and The Getaway…
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The more I think about this movie, the more I hate it. Now, I saw it Wednesday night, midnight like many people. Afterwards I was one of few people defending it. I said “Sure the acting and the dialogue sucked, but there was plenty of good stuff too”…
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What does it mean to be Wooworthy? Any action sequence in a movie not directed by John Woo that is worthy enough to be in a movie directed by John Woo.
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You know what sucks? Every time I’m watching RETURN OF THE JEDI and really getting in to it when Luke jumps off the speeder bike and lays the smack down on that biker scout, those goddamn Ewoks have to come along and fuck everything up…
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Let me be the first to say that I don’t give two shits about Stephen King, the books he writes, or the weird fans of his books. Stephen King sucks, his books suck, his fans are ignorant, and the majority of the movies based on his books suck…
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I’ve seen FACE/OFF several times now and it just keeps on kicking ass. After coming to america and putting out two pretty lame movies, John Woo has finally learned how to combine Hollywood’s fucked-up sensibility with his own passion…
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I’m here in defense of ALIEN 3 from Entertainment Weekly #402, October 24, 1997. This is from an article entitled “Wonder Woman” by Stephen Whitty…
