MOOVY TURMS: DEFINITIONS FOR THE RETARDED
NUDITY

Webster’s Definition:

NUDITY [noo'-duh-tee] n. The state of being naked or bare.
Movie Definition:

NUDITY [tee'-and-ay] n. A useful gimmick for causing contoversy and/or pulling in box office and video dollars.

NOTE: While the writer of this piece is very secure in his manhood, this will only cover female nudity in film. Men rarely do nude scenes and when they do it’s rarely worth talking about.

Why is it that when some actresses do a nude scene they take a lot of shit, but when others do it’s considered high art? Is it all merely titilation or does it sometimes enhance the story? Is there really such a thing as artistic nudity? Is there really anything wrong with revealing the nude female form? Well, it’s all a matter of opinion, so let’s take a look at the actresses that do nude scenes and what inpact it has on the film world:

WOMEN WHOSE NUDE SCENES ARE CONSIDERED ART: Meryl Streep, Gleen Close, Diane Keaton, Meg Tilly, Courtney Love, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Kate Winslet, Holly Hunter, Laura Dern, Patricia Arquette, Kathy Bates, Julia Ormond, Mia Kirschner, Helen Hunt, Emily Watson, Kathleen Turner, Liv Tyler, Parker Posey, Jessica Lange, Isabella Rossalini, Meg Ryan, Ione Skye, Annette Benning, Anne Archer, Juliette Binoche, Kristin Scott Thomas, Uma Thurman, Jodie Foster, Elle MacPherson, Tara Fitzgerald, Sheryl Lee, Deborah Kara Unger, Juliette Lewis, Kelly Preston, Nicole Kidman.

WOMEN WHOSE NUDE SCENES ARE CONSIDERED SMUT: Sharon Stone, Demi Moore, Melanie Griffith, Jennifer Tilly, Rosanna Arquette, Pamela Anderson Lee, Erika Eleniak, Rebecca DeMornay, Lisa Boyle, Shannon Whirry, Joan Severance, Dana Delaney, Mimi Rogers, Jennifer Connely, Jamie Lee Curtis, Gina Gerschon, Natasha Hentsridge, Ashley Judd, Elizabeth Berkely, Madonna, Charlotte Lewis, Cindy Crawford, Beverly D’Angelo, Kim Basinger, Tanya Roberts, Robin Givens, Patsy Kinset, Madeline Stowe, Jane March, Helen Slater, Sherilyn Fenn, Linda Fiorentino, Denise Richards.

ACTRESSES WHO TRIED TO JUMPSTART THEIR FADING CAREERS BY DOING NUDE SCENES: Alyssa Milano, Drew Barrymore, Shannen Doherty, Molly Ringwald, Mia Sara, Ally Sheedy, Amy Locane, Tiffany-Amber Theissen.

WOMEN WHO NEVER NEED TO GET NAKED AGAIN: Shannon Tweed, Sally Struthers, Sean Young, Anna Nicole Smith, Oprah Winfrey.

WOMEN WHO WILL NEVER DO A NUDE SCENE NO MATTER HOW MUCH HORNY TEENAGED BOYS PRAY FOR IT:Michelle Pfeiffer, Winona Ryder, Sandra Bullock, Geena Davis, Christina Applegate, Julia Roberts, Tea Leoni, Neve Campbell, Janeane Garofalo, Rene Russo, Minnie Driver, Jennifer Aniston.

MEN WHO JUST LOVE DANGLING THEIR PARTICIPLES: Harvey Keitel, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Robert DeNiro, Ewan MacGregor.

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