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Here, I will honor and exalt (and sometimes shit upon) those movies that were released in the months of June, July, and August: the real reason why movie studios exist. Sure, they might try and make you think that it’s all about those films that get limited released right at the end of the year, but we all know that it ain’t the Oscar that brings in the Benjamins.
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Well, once again, it’s time to run down the best and worst of Hollywood’s offerings during the all-so-crucial Summer months. Last year, we decided that the Oscars and other year-end awards were unfair in that they favored only the “serious” films that came out toward the end of the year (read: overrated studio junk), so the response was to set up a Summer awards article to give the spotlight to some of those movies, good or bad, that will likely get ignored come Oscar time…
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Normal people have the Super Bowl, I have the Academy Awards. I faithfully watch the presentation each and every year, usually attending a party in the process. This year, I decided to take it upon myself to play the host of my own Oscar Party, even going so far as to deck out the place with red carpet and require a semi-formal dress code.
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I am also officially declaring 2002 as “The Year of Gere.” I have never been a fan of Richard Gere, but in 2002 he starred in two fantastic films (CHICAGO & UNFAITHFUL) and one pretty good one (THE MOTHMAN PROPHECIES) and delivered incredible performances in all three. As a token of good will, I swear to never make another joke about his posterior in its relation to gerbils ever again. Bravo.
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You know, at the end of every year it seems everyone and their brother wants to put on some pretentious little awards show to recognize the most critic-friendly films and ass-kissing studio pictures of the past twelve months. Unfortunately, all too often this means that overrated junk like CHOCOLAT, SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE, or FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL wind up walking off with awards just because they’ve got some British accents on board. And even more unfortunately, the chances of your film winning something are increased greatly the later in the year it’s released, because award show voters apparently have memories shorter than hamsters. This means that while stupid crap that comes out in December has a good shot at winning little golden statues while stupid crap that comes out in July has to be labeled as stupid crap for eternity. So today we are here to honor those movies that may or may not have been stupid crap, but deserve a little respect in their own right.
