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THE 75TH ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS REVISITED by Noel Wood The Oscars are like my Super Bowl. I'm not that big of a sports fan in general, and I really don't care much about football. Sure, I go to the Super Bowl parties every year, but I'm mainly just there for the booze and the snacks and whatnot. Most people say they watch for the commercials, but I really don't even care about those. Anything worth a damn will usually get played to death in the next few months anyway (see: The stupid Osbournes/Osmonds Pepsi Twist commercial that makes me want to gouge my eyes out) and I really don't care about commercials that much anyway). But as for the game itself, I could usually give a rat's ass. I've won a prize or two in betting on scores, but nothing too major. But the Oscars are a different story. Normal people have the Super Bowl, I have the Academy Awards. I faithfully watch the presentation each and every year, usually attending a party in the process. This year, I decided to take it upon myself to play the host of my own Oscar Party, even going so far as to deck out the place with red carpet and require a semi-formal dress code. In the course of an evening, I managed to consume at least a half-dozen Gin Martinis as well as assorted other adult beverages, so while I may not remember every detail of the evening, I recall having a pretty good time. I managed to snap a few pictures of the event, which can be accessed here:
But since you probably don't come to Movie Criticism for the Retarded for my own personal photo albums, I'll go on to the actual ceremony itself. Or, at least, what I remember of it combined with what I can cull from the Official Oscar Website. The 75th Annual Academy Awards ceremony went a little differently from past years, primarily due to the events of the current situation in the Middle East. Hollywood's always been an outspoken bunch with a general left-wing stance, so it was expected that some folks might be slipping in an opinion or two on the matter. The terror alert is also at a high level, so extra precautions had been taken to ensure the safety of those attending the event, including a significant shortening of the Red Carpet where the arriving celebrities show off their wares. And for some unknown reason (I think someone at my party mentioned it was to confuse the terrorists) they decided to break from the usual order of events and gave the awards away in a different sequence from the usual. Normally, best Supporting Actress and Actor are the two leading awards, but not this year. So here's the list of winners, in the order assigned by the Academy's website. I've also included some comments about reactions and other musings where necessary:
ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
DOCUMENTARY FEATURE Michael Moore is a pig. I used to respect him as a filmmaker even though I didn't necessarily share his political views, but that's changed. I enjoyed BOWLING FOR COULMBINE as a piece of entertainment, but was aware that Moore had stretched truths and even fabricated "facts" to suit his agenda. He went from admitting that fact to flat-out denying it, and then he decided to use the Oscars as a platform to push his anti-war agenda. Wait, scratch that. He pushed an anti-Bush agenda and masqued it as an anti-war agenda. In essence, he broke a silent agreement that the organizers had made with those in attendance to keep the agendas out of the ceremony, and used a bunch of unwitting nominees to back him up (note the suprised looks on some of their faces when he spoke). He deserved to get booed off the stage. I don't care what your beliefs are, you get up like that, you make an ass out of yourself, you deal with the consequenses. I could make a whole article out of this, but this isn't really the proper forum for it.
DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
MUSIC (SCORE)
BEST PICTURE
SHORT FILM (ANIMATED)
SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION)
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