How do you cast Tony Stark without Robert Downey Jr.? Anybody who knows the Marvel Universe and knows American pop culture KNOWS that the character Robert Downey Jr. = the character Tony Stark. They’re the same person. You can’t not have Robert Downey Jr…

I fucking hate downtown Atlanta. It’s dirty and gross and you run into all sorts of mean, rude fucking assholes down there. The traffic is terrible and the roads don’t make any fucking sense. Plus, you’re about fifty times more likely to get mugged and raped by a transvestite crack whore than you are anywhere outside of the perimeter. I personally believe that you have to be out of your fucking mind to live down there if you are over the age of twenty-five, despite having several close friends who are voluntarily in exactly that situation and who I’m reasonably sure are of sound mind…

It’s been several years since I’ve done one of these things. In this site’s former life as Movie Criticism for the Retarded, this was an annual event for a while, but this is the first time in three years that I’ve churned out my (usually wildly incorrect) predictions of how the Oscars will pan out this year…

Last year, here in Atlanta, a film was made that is near and dear to my heart. It’s Dance of the Dead. A high school prom is attacked by zombies and the only people who can save the attendees are those people who couldn’t get dates. How beautiful a setup is that?…

Feigning credibility by pretending your film and idea is real does not work. People such as Whitley Strieber and Richard Hoagland may echo my sentiment when I beg you to stop pretending your great spooky idea may be based on real events. There is a genre called science fiction and horror for a reason. The operative word there is fiction. Just because you shoot something in first person doc style with a handheld and infrared does not warrant true story…

What I’m trying to say here is if you liked any or all of the above but thought they’d be a lot better if they had a billion percent more gore, full-frontal nudity and use of the words “fuck”, “cock” and even the dreaded “c-word that shall not be named” then you should stop reading this right now and order STARZ…

First, let me acknowledge how amazing The Dark Knight was. It was amazing. Heath Ledger wasn’t overhyped, he was actually that amazing. Amazingly, Gary Oldman wasn’t underutilized this time around. Christian Bale, even with all the hoarse whispering, is still the best Batman evar. The script (and its execution) was sophisticated. Amazing as it was though, it’s not the best superhero movie ever…

God bless Netflix. I sign up, I spend ridiculous numbers of hours telling it which movies I like and don’t like. I rate the movies it sends me, I watch movies online, I get put onto new and interesting things…

I originally posted this earlier last year, right around the time it happened. We were specifically told not to post anything online about the experience. I kept everything nice and vague and posted it here. Now, at last, the truth can be told in its entirety. I was an extra in Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2. I don’t even know if I’ll be in the final cut or not, but here’s what went down…

Since the relaunch of this site involves somewhat of a Pac-Man motif, I thought it only fitting that the first new article since the relaunch involve everyone’s favorite pixellated dot-muncher himself. Now, just about everyone in the world is familiar enough with Pac-Man, but those who weren’t around between 1980 and 1984 don’t understand just exactly how ubiquitous this cheese-wedge-looking motherchomper was during his formative years…

So by now, you’ve probably seen Avatar. If you haven’t, you know someone who has. Chances are, that person has told you either how blown away they were by the movie or how bad they thought it was. You probably haven’t heard from many people who said something along the lines of “yeah, it was okay”, because that’s just not the kind of movie this is. It will leave an impression on you, regardless of how apathetic you are…

Do zombies crave human flesh? What is the black market product that they keep in the fridge? What do they do at Live Dead that makes them prohibit all but a few living humans? Are they content just to continue being until they decay and disappear?…

Let’s get this out of the way: the Blair Witch strategy was on par with the first Jaws trailers. The idea was genius, and though at times slow, was a brilliant act of low budget horror filmmaking. Many folks may disagree with me and those folks can eat a bag of dicks. The living legend Ric Flair once said, “fool me once…shame on me”…

When Netflix suggested that I might enjoy this one, I thought “Shoot, even if it stank, I would get to look at Monica Bellucci.”…

I had meant to do this by Halloween, but it just didn’t happen. I was very fortunate to view two very memorable and distinctive movies during the month of October. Both made enough of an impression that I wanted to pass them along…

Well, the book(s) came out in 1986 and 1987. The movie has been in on-again, off-again production status for twenty one years. It’s been a long time coming. I remember wearing a Comedian smiley face pin back in junior high, people spraying “Who Watches The Watchmen?” graffiti in MARTA stations – kind of my generation’s version of “Frodo Lives!” How do you take the most acclaimed graphic novel of all time and make a movie of it…

My sixteen year old went to see I Am Legend last week and raved about it. Tonight, my brain hurt and I had time on my hands and a buddy from work offered to buy, so we took off for a little escapism.
First, though. . . PREVIEWS!
SEMI-PRO – Will Farrell has found his niche, and that niche is in the seventies. He’s playing the owner of a B-rate basketball team that might get absorbed by the NBA. It also has Woody Harrelson. It might be funny. …

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that Summer sucks. That’s right. I said it. Not Summer Glau, the spunky actress of Firefly fame, but the actual season of Summer. It’s fucking hot. Especilly where I live, in the West San Fernando Valley, where we hit 3 digit temperatures for weeks at a time. The kids are out of school meaning that they’re, like, around a bunch when I go do stuff. There’s no new TV on. …

A mysterious artifact which has the power to change the world and seems to drive its bearer into madness and needs to be returned to its place of origin. Cate Blanchett appears in a supporting role. No hobbits appear this time around…