The gospel according to Jay "Me So" Hornsby

BEST:

Spider-Man 2
Arguably the best comic book movie ever made.

The Incredibles
The best comic book movie that was not actually based on a comic book (AKA the best Fantastic Four movie ever made not actually based on the Fantastic Four). The family dynamic along with the nice blend of comedy & adventure was spot on. I really liked all the nods to classic comic book characters, powers, and themes. The producers of the new FF movie must be shitting their pants b/c there is no way it’s going to be half as good as this. I can’t wait for it to hit dvd so I can see it again.

Shaun of the Dead
The perfect combination of comedy & horror. Take out the laughs, & you still have a good horror movie. Take out the gore, and you still have a good comedy. Put them together & you have by far my favorite horror movie in years.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
A love story processed through the mind of Charlie Kaufman with a great script and cast.

Dodgeball
Honestly, how can you not like a movie in which its climatic battle is a GI Joe reference?

Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban
The 1st Harry Potter movie that I really dug. I liked the darker direction and thought it was superior to the earlier movies. Also, it made me feel like a dirty old bastard when a) I realized how hot Emma Watson is and then b) when I realized how old she is.

Kill Bill Vol. 2
Vol 1 may have been more fun, but Vol 2 was better as a whole (half of a movie).

Hellboy
Ron Pearlman as Hellboy was one of the best casting decisions of the year. The story could have been a little stronger, but I really liked the movie & thought it proved that when you are true to the source material, you can make a great comic book movie (even if it’s not based on a well established character).

Anchorman
Admittedly, I didn’t originally have this on my list until I recently re-watched it. It definitely held up better the 2nd time around. Of everyone in the great cast, Steve Carell very nearly steals the movie as Brick.

Harold & Kumar go to White Castle
Another late addition to the list (only because I just saw it). Really fucking funny. Extra bonus points for having the best Neil Patrick Harris performance since his turn in Undercover Brother.

WORST:

Van Helsing
Hugh Jackman proves once again that he should never be allowed to star in any movie as anyone other than Wolverine. The classic Universal Monsters were completely wasted in this overblown overbudgeted piece of wannabe-summer-blockbuster-shit-on-a-stick.

Alien Vs Predator
Another movie with great potential that just couldn’t do anything worthwhile with it.

Starsky & Hutch
Another in the long line of pointless and crappy Hollywood remakes. Because of the cast, I thought that this one at least had a chance of being decent. Unfortunately, outside of Vince Vaughn, there is nothing funny that you didn’t already see in the trailers.

Movies I’d probably like but never got around to seeing:
Aviator
Team America
Life Aquatic
The Bourne Supremacy
Garden State
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

Movies that I was surprised that I liked:
Mean Girls
The Girl Next Door

Movies that I was disappointed with but still liked, just not as much as I thought I would:
Club Dread
The Village
Walking Tall
The Chronicles of Riddick

Movies that I was disappointed with but was too apathetic to put them on my worst list:
Napoleon Dynamite
Punisher

Movies I didn’t have to see to realize how absofuckin awful they were:
Garfield
Son of mask
Fat Albert
Taxi
Christmas With the Kranks
Without a Paddle