2005: The Good, The Meh, and The Ugly
by Beth Van Dusen

The Good

Revenge of the Sith - was it really that good, or was it just that after the first two installments Darth Vader yelling “NOOO!” didn’t seem so bad? It’s no Empire, but at least Lucas decided to go out with a bang. I’ll take Wookies over Ewoks any day.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - I was actually able to forget that another version had ever been made. That’s a pretty tall order considering how much I loved the original.
Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride - lacked the charm that made Nightmare such a masterpiece, but still wonderful and creepy in a way that only a Tim Burton movie can be.
Unleashed - not saying it was a great film, but I completely enjoyed it for what it was.
The 40 Year Old Virgin – I expected it to be amusing, but this was downright hilarious
Waiting - really funny if you’ve ever waited tables
Kingdom of Heaven - well done medieval epic, but Orlando Bloom just can’t pull off more than one emotion at a time. So sad...
Kung Fu Hustle - a bit too Three Stooges at times, but still fun. The Brothers Grimm - the lack of focus is the only problem I had with this gorgeous and fun movie

The Meh...

Sin City - made a much better comic book than a movie
Elizabethtown - quirky girl shakes up the life of a straight laced guy- what an original story. At least Cameron Crowe knows how to use music well in his movies
Land of the Dead - boring zombies are still better than no zombies at all
Batman Begins - I agree with Bobby- not a bad movie, just a bad Batman movie
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - most looked forward to of the series was the most disappointing

And The Ugly

White Noise - (static)...it sucked...(static)
Doom - I’d rather be playing the game.
The Ring II - all drama, no scares.
Firecracker - Mike Patton should stick to singing!
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – you might enjoy it if you’ve never read the books
The Amityville Horror - the absence of James Brolin doesn’t make up for all of the problems with this one
War of the Worlds - good special effects, bad everything else
Serenity - Joss Whedon strikes out again

After You Turn 30 Your Time Just Seems Too Valuable To Waste On Movies Like These

Aeon Flux - hated it ten years ago, and Charlize Theron isn’t going to change that now.
Pride and Prejudice - don’t even get me started.
Son of the Mask - proving once and for all that there is no god
Fantastic Four - we waited how many years for a movie that I could tell would suck from a 30 second trailer?!?
The Devil’s Rejects - yeah I need to waste 90 minutes of my life watching another overly long Rob Zombie video.
March of the Penguins - Am I the only one who doesn’t understand why this was such a big movie? It’s freakin’ penguins! Seriously, who cares about penguins?

Here I would normally have a section listing the movies I’m looking forward to in 2006. Looking over the movies to be released this year I couldn’t really come up with enough titles to make a list. So instead, here are the upcoming movies that I will probably see regardless of whether or not I’m really excited about them.

The Pink Panther – it’s been a long time since Steve Martin has made a funny movie
Silent Hill – scary monsters and super creeps
Superman Returns – I’ll probably wait for video. Superman was always a little too much of a boy scout for my taste
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest – yarrgh!
Casino Royale – here’s hoping that a new Bond can jumpstart the flailing series
Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny – JB, KG, and Ronnie James Dio!
Jurassic Park IV – I think it’ll be another cocktail matinee
X3: X-Men 3 – The only movie only this list that I can’t wait to see. Since this will likely be the last X-Men movie it needs to be really big and really good. I can dream, can’t I?
Snakes on a Plane – somebody releases snakes; on a plane! I’m seeing this one for the title alone.