CHAD’S FUCK THE OSCARS 2005

In my opinion, a very good year for movies. Despite what people say. Box office might be down, but I think that’s because of DVD and HD televisions. Anyway, here’s my list.

As usual, within each grouping there is no order.

I. – The Masterpieces

MUNICH
      directed by Steven Spielberg
- It really is criminal how overlooked this movie has become. Spielberg hits his highest mark since ‘Private Ryan’ and the world is better for it. Its portrayal of the never-ending cycle created by violence would make a great movie night along-side ‘Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance’ and ‘A History of Violence.’ A film so elegantly made by a master filmmaker that some don’t even notice what a great feat it is.

2046
      directed by Wong Kar-Wai
- The latest film from my favorite filmmaker is an exhilarating and gorgeous work about the damage that men and women do to each other. Tony Leung, reprising his role from 2000’s ‘In the Mood For Love’ continues to be the best actor in the world that no white person has ever heard of. If you’ve never seen a Wong Kar-Wai movie, it’s not easy to explain. Just watch and let yourself be engulfed.

GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK.
      directed by George Clooney
- If you believe in a fair and just God, Clooney is just the guy to make you question your faith. You’d think that someone seemingly as talented as he is would have to be a hideous badger-man creature, with bad breath and a club foot. But he is not. He is exceedingly handsome and a good actor and, as he proves again in this second directorial effort, a first-class filmmaker. This movie, about Edward R. Murrow’s on-the-air war with Joe McCarthy and HUAC is so classily constructed, so simply rendered, that, well…it just isn’t fair. At least give him a hairlip or something.

II. - Great Movies

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN (Ang Lee)
THE NEW WORLD (Terrence Malick)
SIN CITY (Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller)
OLD BOY / SYMPATHY FOR MR.VENGEANCE (Chan-wook Park)
THE CONSTANT GARDNER (Fernando Meirelles)

III. – Very Good Movies

A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE (David Cronenberg)
SYRIANA (Stephen Gaghan)
BATMAN BEGINS (Christopher Nolan)
DOWNFALL (Oliver Hirschbeigel)
CAPOTE (Bennett Miller)
A BITTERSWEET LIFE (Ji-woon Kim)
HUSTLE & FLOW (Craig Brewer)

The Rest:

Good Movies: MATCH POINT, WALK THE LINE, KING KONG, THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN, SERENITY, GRIZZLY MAN, MARCH OF THE PENGUINS, CONSTANTINE, STAR WARS EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH, HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE, CRASH, DOMINION: A PREQUEL TO THE EXORCIST, KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, WAR OF THE WORLDS, EROS, CINDERELLA MAN

Decent Movies: ONG-BAK, KUNG-FU HUSTLE, HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY, LAYER CAKE, MR. & MRS SMITH, THE WEDDING CRASHERS, LAST DAYS, JARHEAD, MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA, GEORGE A. ROMERO’S LAND OF THE DEAD, THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE, SKY HIGH

Mediocre Movies: FANTASTIC FOUR, HITCH, BE COOL, UNLEASHED, HIGH TENSION, DARK WATER, EXORCIST: THE BEGINNING

Shitty Movies: THE ISLAND, SON OF THE MASK, CURSED, THE DUKES OF HAZZARD, ELEKTRA

Things I knew would suck and saved my money on: RACING STRIPES, ALONE IN THE DARK, THE WEDDING DATE, THE PACIFIER, ROBOTS, MISS CONGENIAILITY 2, XXX: STATE OF THE UNION, BEWITCHED, UNDERCLASSMAN (I worked on that one, so I had insider suckage knowledge), DOMINO, AEON FLUX, CHICKEN LITTLE, FUN WITH DICK AND JANE, THE RING 2, GUESS WHO, THE LONGEST YARD, COAH CARTER, HIDE AND SEEK, MUST LOVE DOGS, THE LEGEND OF ZORRO, HOSTAGE, DERAILED, JUST FRIENDS, DOOM, STEALTH, DIARY OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN

Things I wanted to see but then they came out and everybody hated them so I didn’t bother to see them yet but will definitely Netflix them: THE PRODUCERS, RENT, CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, THE CORPSE BRIDE, THE BROTHERS GRIMM, ELIZABETHTOWN

Most disappointing movies: MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA, HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY, JARHEAD

Things I missed that are supposed to be good that I will see as soon as I can: NORTH COUNTRY, THE SQUID AND THE WHALE, WALLACE & GROMIT, 9 LIVES, PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, THE PRESIDENT’S LAST BANG

Things to look forward to in 2006: SYMPATHY FOR LADY VENGEANCE (I’ve already seen it and, trust me, it’s something to look forward to), V FOR VENDETTA, CASINO ROYALE, SUPERMAN RETURNS, THE GOOD GERMAN, THE GOOD SHEPHERD, THE DEPARTED, SIN CITY 2

Great Performances:

Tony Leung in 2046
Q’Orianka Kilcher in THE NEW WORLD
Eric Bana in MUNICH
Heath Ledger in BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
Faye Wong, Gong Li, and Zhang ZiYi in 2046
Mickey Rourke and Clive Owen in SIN CITY
Terrence Howard in HUSTLE & FLOW
Naomi Watts in KING KONG
Paul Giamati in CINDERELLA MAN
Min-Suk Choi in OLDBOY
Viggo Mortensen in A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE
Bruno Ganz in DOWNFALL
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, CAPOTE
Ralph Fiennes and Rachel Weisz in THE CONTSANT GARDNER
Tom Cruise and Dakota Fanning in WAR OF THE WORLDS
Joaquin Phoenix and Reece Witherspoon in WALK THE LINE
David Strathairn in GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK
Colin Farrel in THE NEW WORLD
Nathan Fillion, Adam Baldwin, and Summer Glau in SERENTIY
George Clooney and Ray Wise in GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK
The Ladies of BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN: Michelle Williams, Anne Hathaway, Kate Mara, Linda Cardellini, and Anna Faris.

Seven TV Shows Worth Watching in 2005:

THE SHIELD
THE OFFICE
MY NAME IS EARL
SCRUBS
VERONICA MARS
THE WEST WING
LOST