The year in movies as determined by me.
by Noel Wood

MY TOP THIRTEEN OF THE YEAR:
1. King Kong - Peter Jackson has made the ultimate cinematic experience here. Chock full of action, thrills, romance, and humor, this one deserves to be the top banana.
2. The 40 Year-old Virgin - Every moment of this film is laugh-out-loud funny, but it's also one of the most real and touching ensembles ever put on film.
3. Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit - Completely original, fun and thrilling, Nick Park takes stop-motion animation to new levels here.
4. Brokeback Mountain - Who'd have thunk it -- a movie about gay cowboys is the best romance in years.
5. The Squid And The Whale - I've never had so much fun hating so many characters.
6. Walk the Line - Two of the best performances of the year, and a movie that captures all sides of the Man in Black.
7. Good Night, and Good Luck - Surprisingly unpreachy take on McCarthyism, beautifully directed and brilliantly acted.
8. Kung Fu Hustle - If Buster Keaton and Chuck Jones teamed up to make a kung fu movie, it would look something like this.
9. Sin City - The most faithful comic adaptation ever made, and a cinematic thrill ride to boot.
10. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Despite the risk of fanboy backlash, I boldly state this is far superior to the Gene Wilder original. Burton's best film in years.
11. Capote - Philip Seymour Hoffman captures the essence of the title character perfectly.
12. Batman Begins - A reboot of the Batman franchise that's actually about Batman? Say it ain't so!
13. Millions - Danny Boyle directs a fantastic little tale about kids and money.

FUNNIEST FILMS OF THE YEAR (That didn't make my top 13):
1. The Aristocrats
2. Waiting...
3. The Bad News Bears
4. Wedding Crashers
5. The Ringer

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENTS OF THE YEAR:
1. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - My favorite book of all time gets made into, well, this. The sentiment was appreciated, but cutting out the books's best lines to make room for goofy subplots is not.
2. George A. Romero's Land of the Dead - It wouldn't have been so bad had we seen less of John Leguizamo and more of the zombies.
3. Fantastic Four - I really had hope for the latest Marvel flick. I'm not sure why, but early reports seemed like they were going to get this one right. What I got instead was eyeroll-inducing pop cultural references, lame attempts at humor, and paint-by-numbers action sequences.

FILMS THAT WERE COMPLETE AND UTTER ASS:
1. Aeon Flux - To be fair, I only watched the first half of this, but I had enough of a headache from the blaring techno music soundtrack for an entire movie.
2. Be Cool - I knew Get Shorty. You, sir, are no Get Shorty.
3. The Dukes of Hazzard - The reason the original series was so popular is because it didn't mock its setting. The Broken Lizard dudes completely missed the point.

OTHER MOVIES I LIKED THIS YEAR:
Broken Flowers, The Ice Harvest, Mr. And Mrs. Smith, Tim Burton's Corpse Bride, War of the Worlds, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Syriana, March of the Penguins.

OTHER MOVIES THAT SUCKED THIS YEAR:
The Longest Yard, Crash, Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price, Hustle & Flow.

BEST MALE PERFORMANCE:
1. Heath Ledger, Brokeback Mountain
2. Joaquin Phoenix, Walk the Line
3. Philip Seymour Hoffman, Capote
4. Steve Carrell, The 40 Year Old Virgin
5. Jeff Daniels, The Squid and the Whale
6. David Strathairn, Good Night and Good Luck
7. George Clooney, Syriana
8. Bill Murray, Broken Flowers
9. Ian McDiarmid, Star Wars Episode III
10. Mickey Rourke, Sin City

BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE:
1. Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line
2. Naomi Watts, King Kong
3. Michelle Williams, Brokeback Mountain
4. Catherine Keener, Capote
5. Laura Linney, The Squid and the Whale
6. Anne Hathaway, Brokeback Mountain
7. Tilda Swinton, The Chronicles of Narnia
8. Sharon Stone, Broken Flowers
9. Maggie Gyllenhaal, Happy Endings
10. Claire Danes, Shopgirl

SIX REASONS 2006 MIGHT BE A GOOD YEAR FOR MOVIES...
Pirates of the Caribbean 2, Cars, Nacho Libre, Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny, Superman Returns, Hail Caesar.

AND SIX REASONS WHY IT MIGHT SUCK:
X3, MI:3, Young Hannibal, Saw 3, Scary Movie 4, Miami Vice.

AND FINALLY, FOR MY FAVORITE MOVIE MOMENT OF THE YEAR:
Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen trading "You know how I know you're gay?" quips back and forth while smoking pot and ripping each other's heads off in "Mortal Kombat", from The 40-Year-Old Virgin.