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Syndicate! Affiliates: The Toque Geek of the Day Biting Satire Barry the Bachelor Evil Guide Start your own Cult Funny Feed Humor Planet Conspiracy Network Grouchy Joe Paranormal Cafe All Dumb Busted Tees Defunker |
By Justin Patterson You take care of things Seeing to the needs of kin Panty on yore haid Ted "Theodore" Logan Neo hates his past Dangerous Liaisons blew Go "whoa" somewhere else. 18 Soon We hail the return Wholesomeness in film is back Olsens, turn eighteen! In Loving Worship Above average Fat, balding Jew Ron makes good The Hedgehog is God. Sweet Ass-Chin Rose McGowan smokes In a just world, my nose plays Ping Pong with her breasts Amidala Why is it so wrong Watching the Professional Portman gives us wood Raul, not Uncle Duke A once great actor - Kiss of the Spider Woman! Street Fighter gravestone. Jay Sherman Rocks Wells, Citizen Kane - What strange twists of fate? - ends as Unicron. In Depp Shit "Winona Forever" Ryder is a poor tattoo Cleaned up for all time Ricci Though Ricci is butch - John Waters films put aside - Wednesday's still just hot. Film At Eleven Bronkowitz is God Big Jim Slade helps make whoopee Catholics are fun! Jesus Hates Bald Pussy Edward Scissorhands Feels the stirrings of manhood Free shaves, Winona! Paul Reubens Approves Swanson did Playboy Gellar hooks all the young boys Which Buffy's better? The Freak Vote Bill Murray or Depp? Peter Boyle or del Toro? Doctor Gonzo LIVES. American Wedding Too much of Stifler My love of dick jokes aside Tell him "Less is more." Gilligan The movie star knows Smarter guys are better lays Just ask Maryann Old School Okay, just one drink Running naked, I feel drafts Frank the Tank is back! The Duke The Saint of Killers Who could stand before that gaze? Fuck cancer, pilgrim. Loni, Come Back Smokey and Bandit Sally Field, she looked okay Until I looked twice Bond Girls Famke Janssen steamed Halle spoke like ghetto trash Give me the redhead Wild Things Richards and Campbell Way beyond Matt Dillon's league Fuck the Outsiders! Mary's Missing Something Cameron Diaz? Thora Birch just has it all Mary has no ass Overused? Hello, in there, hello. . . . . Once, I ate out Madonna What's with the echo? "No-talent ass clown" -Michael Bolton Vin Diesel is bald If being bald is so great Baby balls must rock Bond Connery was it Lazenby floored a P.A. Pierce Brosnan must go MC4TR Chad Shonk went native Gnoll is in the ATL God, the suburbs suck Dead Puppies Aren't Much Fun Radner, Belushi, Madeline Kahn and Farley Who let Kattan live? Tribute Idle, Palin, SPAM Graham had your python right here! Cleese inherits world. When the Rock isn't on steroids Schneider, the Hot Chick A real man would have used his She did not see yours Postman It's Costner's life's work Tom Petty's a better act Stop paying Costner! Turkish Prisons Dear Lawrence, "the trick. . . . is not minding that it hurts" Lawrence was buggered. Governor Ahh-nold He says, "I'll be back." Hasta la vista, baby! Just don't ask questions. The Whole Ten Yards Jimmy the Tulip Like it or not, he's back. Where's David Addison? Tadpole So you're just a kid Why bother with Ripley when Lilith gives it up? Bulletproof Monk You became a god never kicking, just hurling lead Hand that feeds you? Yum! Fading Glory Kevin Kline's wife? Think Fast Times At Ridgemont High. Climb out of the pool. Judge Dredd Schneider and Stallone I AM the law, you fucker! Bills need to be paid. You WERE funny Once, Axel Foley said "Merry Christmas, dammit!" Now, Daddy Day Care. Bass-o-Matic Fearing my food prep You show me the easy way God bless the Oster Blue Cook County behind You're on a mission from God Do Carrie Fisher. D'Onofrio Fat fuck, Private Pyle What's Gary's velocity? Seven point six two. . . . . Not-so-Fresh Six Degrees and all Screw Ali and Bagger Vance Some more Bruckheimer!!! Lori Petty You can hit a ball, change oil and drive a tank but In the Army Now? Strangeland Dear Captain Howdy, Why does it hurt when I pee? Is this your lesson? Morpheus Yes, you found the One Lose the fuckin' baby fat! Go kill Martin Sheen. Tara Reid Yes, it's a problem. Do you fuck on the first date? Have another drink. Sherminator They will never know as long as you are so shy You have just one leg. Jack You are so well-known Dare we think you're not acting? You're a psycho. Beatty Bulworth was so sad At last, you're paying for it Halle's faking it. Kevin Smith, theologian Alanis Morrisette You beg the question, What if God smoked cannabis? Chris Tucker Jackie and Owen not bad, but promise no work with Rosie Perez. Jim Carrey, Bruce Almighty Fluff guy can't do news Stick to what you're good at, Jim Alllllrighty, then, eh? Kate Hepburn African Queen rocked You stayed skinny so long now Can't get food to mouth? Quentin I'm no role model I fuck Uma on the side You wish you were me? Demi Ashton pays weekly He's hung like a wee infant I am just for show. Brittany Murphy What has done more harm? Smoking, or kneeling for all of those movie parts? Kentucky Fried Movie Moscow is in flames Missiles headed for New York Film at eleven. Monica She's not just a ship She's a transformer! Sir, she's gone from suck to blow! Tito and Tarantula Salma takes it off Only the snake gets any still, the band plays on For questions, comments, or the occasional stalking letter, send mail to Noel Wood. Please give proper credit when using any materials found within this site. |
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